I was 15-years-old when circumstances forced me to immigrate to the Netherlands in order to reunite with my parents. My name is Natalia, but I could be Agnieszka or Marek, leaving to England, Ireland, Germany or any other Western country.
Our parents want the best for us; I would not dare to question that. Often, they would decide to emigrate, unequivocally for our sake, knowing the difficulties awaiting them abroad such as learning a new language, finding a job within their field of expertise and of course integrating. However, it would be easier for us, the children, to conquer all these new challenges and we would definitely have better prospects i.e. we would learn to speak foreign languages fluently, profit from foreign education and earn satisfying wages. Besides that, we would be able to travel abroad for holidays, we would live in a social welfare supported state where we could experience safety within that system. For many, this life looks better than the alternative future in Poland…
Unfortunately, parents are often not aware of the possible, I would even say likely, negative aspects of emigrating as a young person such as: identity crisis, homesickness, social exclusion, becoming a victim of discrimination and bullying, which combined together can result in depression.
Obviously, there are also great examples of young people assimilating quickly in this new environment, not going through all the troubles mentioned above. Additionally, I would like to make clear that in general, children adjust easier and faster to the new culture and situation than teenagers. The integration process can still have an impact on the children, but the metamorphosis, in most cases, is smoother. It becomes challenging when we decide to emigrate with young teenagers, approximately 12+. In many cases those young people go through a very difficult and elaborate process of integrating, which drastically changes their lives.
Please allow me to remind you about this particular phase in life. Kay Branaman Eakin, a Senior International Consultant at Bennett School Placement Worldwide and formerly an Education Counselor with the U.S. State Department, wrote in “According to my passport, I’m coming home” about this phase concerning the emigration aspect: “One reason for the strong impact on adolescents is that this is a time of great growth and development. Hormones suddenly start flowing and body shapes begin to mature. The acceptance of these physical changes and corresponding masculine/feminine roles leading to the establishment of healthy relationships can be confusing to the adolescent. And, for the first time, a young person’s ability to reason approaches that of the mature adult. Even in the most stable environment, adolescence may be traumatic, both for teenagers and their parents.” Moving to another country, with all its consequences, can never, at least not at the beginning, offer a stable environment.
You might think that I am exaggerating, but I would like you to imagine the following: a young Pole moves to a Western country and does not speak any foreign languages. Learning the native language is a struggle, let alone making friends. The consequence is staying at home, isolated from society. This definitely does not facilitate the process of learning the native language, nor the process of integration. Furthermore, often the only social interaction would be with the parent(s), which is not the most ideal way of socializing during adolescence. On top of that a majority of us also suffer from Polish inferiority complex. I believe it is not hard to imagine that the described scenario often leads to addictions, youth crime, negative impact on sexuality behaviour, high school dropout etc…
People often explain that emigrating was the only choice, that the situation forced them to do this. I believe people are capable of doing anything in a critical situation. The question that arises now is: how do we define a critical situation? Can we consider a difficult financial situation as a critical situation? How many thousands of Polish immigrants from past years, who have decided to take their children abroad with them, have actually experienced a critical situation in their home country? How often have they not experienced any critical situation whatsoever, but they just wanted to try out life on the Western front, hoping for a better, easier future? In times of increasing popularity of labour migration and, on the other hand, blooming Polish economy as well as a great potential in your homeland, what situation would be a legitimate reason for a family with children to emigrate to the West?
I would like to ask all my compatriots-parents to consider the given aspects mentioned in this article before you decide to emigrate, even when alone. Simply because emigrating and leaving your children behind in Poland is not necessarily a more suitable option. Poland has already produced thousands, according to some sources, even millions of the so-called “Euro-orphans”. According to Danilewicz and Węgierski Euro-orphans refers to “situations in which economic emigration of parents, or at least one parent, disturbs the basic family unit and its ability to function properly. Amongst the fundamental disorders brought on are the lack of a stable socialization process, emotional support for the child involved, and the transmission of cultural norms (Danilewicz, Węgierski 2006 and 2007 cited in The new problem in Polish schools, 2010, p. 111)”. “They are not necessarily abandoned to orphanages, but they also get “dumped” on “relatives, neighbours, older siblings or in more extreme cases out in the streets” (Polish Times cited in Hundreds of thousands of abandoned children remain in Eastern Europe while Privateer parents seek “better life”, 2012)
Of course, every situation is unique and personal, but I hope that all future Polish teenagers living abroad will be immigrants because their parents made a well-considered decision and were aware of the possible benefits and disadvantages of emigration.
Natalia Rajewska
Sources:
1. Kay Branaman Eakin.1998. According to my passport, I’m coming home.
2. Danilewicz, Węgierski. 2006, 2007. The new problem in Polish schools, p. 111
3. The Polish Times. 2012. Hundreds of thousands of abandoned children remain in Eastern Europe while Privateer parents seek “better life”.
Photo © Ilker Yavuz